Dear Harriette: I’m feeling frustrated and concerned after a recent experience involving my 8-year-old daughter. She has a severe peanut allergy, and last weekend, I allowed her to spend the night at her friend’s house for the first time. I made sure to inform the other child’s parents ahead of time about her allergy and even sent her EpiPen with her, just in case. They assured me they understood and would be careful. However, when my daughter came home the next day, she told me that during dessert, she was given something that contained peanut butter. She ended up having an allergic reaction and had to use her EpiPen while at their house. The parents never contacted me about the incident. If my daughter hadn’t told me, I would not have known that she had a potentially life-threatening reaction while under their care. I’m trying to decide how to approach the other parents about what happened. How would you suggest I handle this conversation? — Life-Threatening
Dear Life-threatening: Whenever someone needs to use an EpiPen, the next step can sometimes be a visit to the hospital to get examined. The person having the reaction must be monitored by someone familiar with their condition to make sure the symptoms are fully resolved and do not return. It is also recommended that people with life-threatening allergies carry two EpiPens in case a second dose is needed.
You should contact the parents immediately and ask what happened. Tell them that your daughter informed you of her allergic reaction and the need to use the EpiPen. Ask why they didn’t contact you immediately and have you come get your daughter. There is no excuse for their behavior. I imagine they were frightened and embarrassed that this happened on their watch. Since she seemed to be OK after using the medicine, they may have thought they were in the clear. That is no excuse! You should be upset, and you should not allow your daughter to spend the night there again.
This doesn’t mean that she can never have a sleepover again. Instead, make the steps clear with any other parents as to how to care for your daughter to avoid an allergic reaction and what to do if one occurs.
Dear Harriette: In your recent answer to “Guilty,” the person who got her friend sick by being around her when she was ill, you missed an opportunity to highlight the importance and politeness of wearing a mask when sick and the intelligence of wearing one to prevent yourself from getting sick, both daily and before a big event that you don’t want to miss. Masks have become foolishly political despite having been used like this in Asia for decades before COVID-19 began. — Get Smart
Dear Get Smart: Great suggestion! I live in New York City, and I remember seeing people on the subway and in the streets wearing masks years before the pandemic. I thought about it when we all began to wear masks. Some people had looked at those mask-wearers with disdain and curiosity, but many of the peoples wearing the masks were from densely populated areas, and it was a safety precaution long before COVID-19 spread. You are right that it can literally be a lifesaver now.
Another positive side effect is that wearing a mask during allergy season dramatically cuts back on allergy symptoms in some patients.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.