FATHER’S DAY: Local dad talks foster parenting, fatherhood

David Edmundson will celebrate more than two decades of fatherhood this weekend, but unlike a lot of dads, it was his second-oldest child who started the celebration so many years ago. His oldest didn’t join the family until later, but it will be thanks to the oldest that he also celebrates next year as a grandfather.

In addition to being a biological father to two, he’s an adoptive father to three and the foster father to almost 40 children over the last eight years. He credits his wife and family friends with introducing him to the pleasure.

“A family friend was fostering and had kids, and we got interested through them,” he said. “My wife was probably into it way before I was. I guess she was waiting for me to come around and also decide it was something good to do, to provide a place for (foster kids) to go.”

He said they’ve learned a great deal along the way, including the difficult routine of allowing children in and letting them out again.

“The toughest part, at least for me, is really letting down your wall, jumping in there and treating them like they’re your own child,” he said. “Then when they leave, you kind of go through the sadness that goes with that. It’s always bittersweet when you’re able to have a child go back home to their families.”

Edmundson said he makes a point of enjoying the children as long as he can, just as he would with any of his own.

“It’s just a conscious effort when I come home in the afternoon to set work aside and spend time with the kids, getting down on the floor and playing with them, things like that,” he said. “It’s the little things like that they respond to better.”

In addition to the little things, Edmundson said it’s important to make sure children know their dad is there for them.

“Be dependable. Be dependable for your children,” he said. “Know that they know they can depend on you for whatever it is, whatever needs they may have. Know they can depend on you to be there for them.”

Joey and Katie, two of Edmundson’s children, vouched for their dad’s tactic.

“He made it easier to change families,” Joey said. “When we first came into the family, we would each get our own weekend with him. We would go to lunch, and sometimes we would drive in the Chevy Impala around and talk. We’d talk about stuff I like to do and how I felt coming into this family.”

“He takes us sometimes to breakfast,” Katie said. “My favorite place is Krispy Kreme. Sometimes we just drive around and talk about things. Like on one Saturday, he took me to McDonald’s. When I stepped on a nail, he picked me up and took care of me.”

The kids were in the Edmundson family as foster children for four years before their biological parents’ rights were terminated and they were adopted. Joey, now 12, is the “country boy who grew up in a city house,” Edmundson said. Katie, the youngest and the only daughter, is “a sweet girl” who “keeps a good perspective for us,” he said.

Still, Joey and Katie are an exception in that most children won’t be able to stay. Edmundson said he and his wife try to foster the parents as well as the children in their care, developing relationships that will remain after the children have moved out again.

“We try to stay in touch with them,” he said. “We get calls throughout the year on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, things like that, from them. We’ve got one little fella, he’s in first grade now. He comes and spends the weekend with us on a regular basis. Instead of just being the dad, we can have a little more fun — be more of a grandparent role with them.”

Edmundson and his wife are currently fostering four children. Joey and Katie are their youngest adopted children, while their oldest adopted is Tony. Edmundson said he is 22 and married, working on a family of his own.

“By next Father’s Day, I’ll be a granddad and he’ll be a dad,” he said.

Gil and Ethan are Edmundson’s biological sons. Gil, at age 21, recently finished his junior year in college, where he is studying to be a pastor. He spends his summers traveling with an evangelist group.

Ethan is the middle child at 17. He’ll start his senior year of high school in the fall.

“Ethan is just a funny kid,” Edmundson said. “He’s always into something and making people laugh. He’s always the life of the party.”

Much like their arrival into Edmundson’s life, each child is different, and Edmundson said he and his wife have learned that different things work with different children.

“They respond differently to different things,” he said.

He treasures his time with them all the same.

“The time you have with them is melting away,” he said, “and it won’t be long before they’re out there on their own.”

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