BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”

It’s just one of the songs children at 16th Street Baptist Church were planning to sing on youth day at the church Sept. 15, 1963.

Sarah Collins Rudolph reflected on that day in a CNHI interview Aug. 30, from her Birmingham home, where she’s remained since the tragedy that claimed the lives of her sister, Addie Mae Collins, and three other girls.

“We walked to church that morning, my sister Janie, Addie and I. and we walked a good ways, so we came into the ladies lounge to freshen up,” she said.

Janie went upstairs to her class, while Sarah and Addie stayed behind in the ladies lounge.

That’s when 14-year-olds Denise McNair and Carole Robertson, and 11-year-old Cynthia Wesley came into the basement ladies lounge just before 10:30 a.m.

Denise walked over to Addie, 14, and asked her to tie the sash on her dress.

“The time (Addie) reached her hand out, the bomb went off and all I could do was holler, ‘Jesus,’” Collins Rudolph recalled. “I didn’t know what what had happened because I was blinded from the debris. I called out Addie’s name about three times but she didn’t answer so I thought they had ran out and left me in there by myself.”

Bombs had exploded outside on the steps of the basement ladies lounge.

Collins Rudolph was rescued from the rubble and taken to the hospital for surgery on her eyes. She was hopeful that Addie had survived, but after leaving surgery, her mother told her that Addie and the other girls died from the explosion.

Nearly 14 years later, one of four bombing suspects, named by the FBI, was convicted. It wasn’t until more than 40 years later, in 2000, that two other suspects were indicted and later convicted. The fourth suspect died in 1994. All of the suspects in the racially motivated bombing were reportedly affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan.

“Those girls didn’t have to be killed like that. We were there to praise God and learn a lesson about love, and it was just some hateful, devilish people out there that hated us because of our color,” Collins Rudolph said. “I don’t understand why they hate us so much when we went through slavery. What more do they want from us?”

While Collins Rudolph, often called “the fifth girl,” said she remains angry about the delay in prosecuting the men responsible for the bombing, she said she hopes the men repented before their deaths.

“It made me angry because they didn’t have to wait 93 years to bring them to court, because they knew who did it,” she said. “I really believe that if they had done it earlier while the Ku Klux Klan was rising they would have gotten off. But it was a blessing that they finally went to trial.”

The young Black girls became martyrs for civil rights and desegregation in Birmingham after the bombing at the church, which was a meeting place for civil rights protests and marches in the city.

Collins Rudolph said the four girls’ deaths were not in vain, and that the tragedy helped make progress toward racial equality.

Recovery and healingCollins Rudolph was 12 years old at the time of the church bombing and had attended the church all of her life, up until the tragedy.

After the tragedy, she was too scared to sit in 16th Street Baptist Church and no longer attended as a regular member. She visited several churches in Birmingham afterward, not wanting to become a regular member at any church.

“I wanted to leave when the bombing happened. But you know, so many of my friends left because they had people out of town to stay with. We didn’t have anyone to move in with out of town.

The bombing left her blind in one eye and she had to undergo constant doctor’s visits for the other eye.

She said she struggled in school upon her return, noting she had no counseling — and had surgery to remove her right eye nearly five months later.

“I was just 12, and then nobody would come up to me and ask me if I needed any help,” Collins Rudolph said. “Their attention was always on the girls that were were killed. They thought the fact that I survived that I was lucky. That was no luck, that was God’s grace.”

Her dream of becoming a nurse, like her mother, was cut short due to the limitations she deals with resulting from the bombing. She instead sought foundry and factory work, and some cleaning work.

Even 60 years later, Collins Rudolph said that post-traumatic stress from the bombing still lingers. She notes, however, that about age 40, she began to experience real healing after prayer with a pastor.

“I went through with that fear for a long time before God really took it a way,” she said. “I still have post-traumatic stress disorder because every time I hear something loud, I still jump.”

Since the bombing, Collins Rudolph said she’s had to visit doctors frequently due to glass from the explosion still in her left eye. She has reduced visits to at least every six months for care.

“It’s something that wasn’t really my fault, but I’ve had to pay for it,” she said.

As victims in many crimes receive restitution, Collins Rudolph and her husband of 20 years, George Rudolph, are hopeful to one day do the same as they continue dealing with medical expenses. So far, they’ve been unsuccessful.

“When we called to inquire about that, (state representatives) told Sarah that it happened in 1963 and it wasn’t nothing they could do,” George said. “I found that to be an insult because my wife went through something real serious. She lost her eye and she has one good eye. She’s been having to pay out of pocket for those bills. She still has to go to the eye doctor and she has to pay out of her pocket.”

Despite her continued struggles, Collins Rudolph said Sept. 15, each year, remains a sad day for her.

But in the last 20 years, Collins Rudolph said she has made it her purpose to attend events commemorating the 1963 church bombing. She plans to attend some of the 60th anniversary commemoration events this year in Birmingham.

“Because I want to represent Addie,” she said.

Events