Even the grinchiest of us might find ourselves humming along to “Holly Jolly Christmas” playing on a loop inside some business or store.

The holiday spirit can be contagious, from the idea of good food to gift giving and receiving, and spending time with loved ones.

But if you’ve ever lost someone close to you — be it a pet, parent, child or other loved one — this time of the year may hit you hardest of all.

Christmas in particular can trigger memories of celebrations past but it also serves as a reminder that those we celebrated with may no longer be with us.

“It’s the first time you’ve been doing Thanksgiving and your December holiday without your loved one in your life, and that’s just huge,” said Sherry Cormier, Ph.D., and author of “Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief,” shared in an article with the American Psychological Association. “It amplifies that everything is different than it used to be, and there’s a cognitive dissonance between you feeling heartbroken and being around people, plus the expectation to be happy and celebratory and grateful.”

We’re not here to tell those how — and whether they should — celebrate.

Instead, we’re urging those who may know someone who has suffered a loss — a death, divorce or other life circumstance — to be aware, be present and be supportive of that person.

But how exactly do we do that without going overboard?

Being supportive of someone grieving requires patience and vulnerability, said Candi Cann, Ph.D., associate professor of religion in the Honors College at Baylor University.

“Engage with the person and ask how you can best support them. And let them know that you are thinking about them during this time,” she said. “A lot of people don’t want to bring it up because they don’t want to make people sad at a joyful time.

“But the point is, they already are sad, so bringing it up allows them to express (their pain).”

Psychologists say one mistake supporters can make — and we’re all guilty of it — is deliberately avoiding mentioning the name of the person who died in an effort to not upset the griever, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“We want our loved ones to be remembered. We want people to talk about them, but I think the most common strategy is avoidance,” Cormier said.

Sharing memories of the loved one can help keep their memories alive, particularly if they’re fun or humorous. Tears may be shed, and that’s OK. It’s a natural reaction to the absence of someone we dearly loved.

Another tip psychologists offer is to avoid making assumptions on the part of your friend or loved one. You may pick up the phone to check in on them and not get a reply.

Dr. Robin Goodman, a New York therapist who specializes in trauma, medical illness and grief, says if that happens, don’t assume they don’t want to talk, and try reaching out again, offering specific ways to help.

“Be concrete and specific and follow through. Sometimes you have to say, ‘Can I help you with decorating, or presents or wrapping? Do you need a break for anything?‘ Make it specific,” Goodman said. “It’s not about you, it’s about them.”

One of the most thoughtful acts we’ve seen that’s become quite popular recently is the idea of “grief groceries,” which can be good year-round.

Consider crafting a package with comfort foods, fresh fruits or vegetables, ready-to-eat meals, personalized treats (maybe their favorite cookies?), comforting beverages such as tea or coffee, essential household items, personal items like skin care or scented candles and perhaps a personalized card or note.

This can help ease the daily responsibilities for someone grieving, while demonstrating a sweet and supportive gesture.

Another important consideration for supporters is to know their role.

A bereaved person needs at least three types of supporters in their life, Goodman said: The listener, who offers a shoulder to cry on and can handle intimate details and emotions; the doer, who is responsible and helpful with tasks like picking up the kids last minute or helping at the bake sale when the bereaved is feeling overwhelmed; and the distractor, who offers a lighter touch and can help the bereaved take a break from the hard work of grieving. This person is the go-to for the movies, dinner, or just an evening of laughter.

Finally, be patient.

Perhaps the worst thing you can say to somebody, whether they’re grieving or just in a slump, is to “get over it.”

We all process loss and emotions differently. Grief knows no time limit. And let’s face it, we’re all guilty of putting on a brave face, not letting on what we’re feeling on the inside. It’s important to recognize that in others and share with them that we know grief has its ups and downs.

“Remember that grief is very tiring and — even under the best of circumstances — holidays are very taxing,” said Dr. William Hoy, a clinical professor and associate director of Medical Humanities at Baylor.

This holiday season, let’s be grateful for the ones we have and the ones we’ve lost.

— With The Gainesville Register