MaryLou Hillof Cando

When was the last time you shouted for joy? Contemplate that for a bit.

Well, when was it? Seriously?

With all the turbulence, sickness, turmoil, fear, hate, division and peril that enfolds us constantly, who feels joyful anymore?

Well, me for one.

Do I have concerns? You darn betcha; but I also possess peace, gratitude, hope and joy. How can that be, you ask? While everything happens around us most definitely has an effect on us, we can overcome it. We can put it safely where it belongs, which is to the side for a bit.

Even the most devout pessimist can find joy if they sincerely seek it.

In order to find joy, we must not confuse it with fleeting happiness or pleasure. Pure joy comes from within and requires cultivation, nurturing and being fed positivity, hope, contentment and gratitude. Water it with faith, trust and confidence in your higher power. It is possible.

It is crucial we begin to recognize what we truly control — and what we don’t or can’t. Can you control the weather, the pandemic, the hatred and anger of others? Can you control looting and rioting? Can you control the news? No, but we can turn it off. Even news junkies are making themselves sick with the constant barrage.

Our desire to know the minutiae of detail surrounding each and every event needs to be held in check. It is robbing us of joy as well as peace, hope and faith. So limit social media time or a chronic bombardment of news. Seek uplifting music, wholesome family time, get outdoors, etc.

Each individual journey is different, and most are fraught with challenges, loss, disappointments and more. Yet, there is joy in the journey as you create sweet memories, experience growth and wisdom, and reflect with gratitude for lessons learned and hardships overcome. Through the years, we gain so much more as we learn kindness, compassion and concern for others in undesirable circumstances on a deeper level. We learn to lift others, become more patient and tolerant and care less, much less, about the opinion of others.

Instead, search the recesses and remove the cobwebs from your memory. What experiences blessed you with pure joy? Find those moments and relive them. Some of my favorite recollections include the pure glee and laughter of a young child, the smell of a rose after the rain, finding a rose blooming through the snow (an affirmation that I had found my true love), the sheer beauty of sunrises and sunsets, that big hug that Aunt Lydia always enfolded me in, the surprise of a baby tasting a lemon for the first time, my first kiss, the birth of each child and grandchild, the acrobatics of a cat and the sheer relief and amazement that I survived verbalizing to my future husband that I loved him that first time. My list is far too long to recreate in this format, but whenever I feel overwhelmed and defeated, those fond memories are there as a retreat.

When we buried our son in 2000, peace and joy swept my soul because of the brightly burning hope and sure knowledge that we would see him again.

Take time to smell the roses, stand in awe of the beauty of the creation all around you and simply be thankful. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and a place to lie down and rest, you are blessed beyond measure compared to so many on this planet.

Look for the rainbow after the rain. Share what you have. Give generously. Be kind.

Above all, be kind.

Live in the moment. Do not dwell on the past or the present, over which you have zero control, anyway. What we do have control of is our attitude, choices and generosity.

Be grateful. Count your blessings. They are so much more abundant that most realize. Don’t compare yourself or what you have to others. That is a direct path to misery and defeat.

Love your family and yourself. Jesus taught to love your neighbor as yourself — not selfishly, but selflessly. We must love ourselves, for if we don’t, we will never develop the capacity to love anyone else. Recognize your worth, then the worth of every other living soul on this planet. Despite differences in a myriad of ways, each of us was created by the same God, linking us to the human race.

So, think of a silly song and belt it out until you feel free of the entrapments of modern life. Be a kid again. Seek and recognize the beauty of everything around you. Be jubilant. Celebrate the simple, and when you do, the seeds of joy will return to you. Please don’t refuse them. Invite them to stay and grow and develop within you.

When was the last time you shouted for joy? If you can’t remember, then ponder it and make a decision that it will be today.

It’s long overdue.

— A coal miner’s daughter born in Appalachia and schooled in Michigan, she currently lives in rural Athens. Hill describes herself as a cook and cookbook author, jack of all trades and master of none, a Christian wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She shares her home with her husband, Bob, and their spoiled-beyond-belief dog, Molly.