Linda Haney, director of social work at Hospice of Limestone County, knows grief is tough enough, but when Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, an anniversary, a birthday or any other special day arrives, grief becomes even more difficult.

“We cannot deny the loss of a loved one because in the middle of the traditional holiday activities, we have an empty chair — a place once filled by that person,” Haney said. “The challenge is how to accept the presence of grief and the loss of a loved one.”

Haney said there are some healthy behaviors one can use to work toward accepting the reality of death. The behaviors include: taking care of yourself physically, considering how you and your loved ones want to remember special days or holiday celebrations, talking with others who are coping with similar loss in order to learn what they have found most helpful and downsizing activities or forgiving yourself if you must ignore the special time completely especially if the pain is too recent.

“Remember dealing directly with all of your emotions associated with the death of a loved one — the good, the bad and the ugly — so to speak— is the best way to reach the other side of grief,” she said. “You need to be able to store good and bad memories in your heart and mind, recalling them realistically without the intense emotional pain. It will take time to reach this point and each person’s emotional clocks have different settings.”

Actions that might help you reach this point include: enjoying photos and making a picture book of the holidays; writing a letter to your deceased loved one, recalling personal holiday memories using sentences such as “When I think of this holiday without you, I feel …” or “Things that you gave me that are important are …,” Haney said.

Hospice of Limestone County and MADD recently sponsored a memorial service “Celebration of Remembrance and Hope” at First United Methodist Church. Haney said more than 30 people were in attendance and she believes it was a good turnout and service for residents of Limestone County.

Hospice of Limestone County is continuously reaching out to the community. It has been called a “hometown” hospice offering grief and loss services throughout the community. A variety of bereavement services are available to those whose loved one was a hospice patient as well as others needing help coping with grief and loss. Hospice works with both the City of Athens and Limestone County Schools to build relationships.

Hospice of Limestone County offers the following bereavement services: Adult support including a widowed person’s support group, adult grief support group, parent and families group and individual counseling; children and youth support including Camp Hope, a one-day camp for children and teens who have experienced loss of loved one, “Good Grief Club” for ages K-12 in coordination with the school counselors and group and individual grief counseling; crisis response including supportive services to individuals affected by death, violence, accident and disaster; memorial services including special events to provide opportunities for remembering loved ones who have died. The main event such as “Celebration of Remembrance and Hope” is typically scheduled around the holidays. Hospice also offers grief in the workplace support, which includes offering a service to local businesses and agencies as a training tool for managers or support of employees; education including workshops and presentations dealing with death, dying and grief issues’ and resources. Professionals are licensed and certified in crisis intervention and grief counseling.

“With time and work you can recover, separating yourself from the past, and discovering you have a life that did not end with the loss of your loved one,” Haney said. “It does not mean forgetting the empty chair that is still in your heart, but taking hold of your life and finding out the reasons you continue to be a presence in this life.”

For more information, call Hospice of Limestone County at 256-232-5017.