BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) — Jim and Susan Sturdivant firmly believe that family dinners help build healthy families.

That’s why, despite his law career, her part-time position as a speech pathologist and four active sons, ages 9 to 18, most of the family makes it to the dinner table three or four nights a week.

And, with rare exceptions, nothing that rings, buzzes or beeps is allowed to gather with them.

“I think it’s important to get away from all the other distractions and have to look at each other across the table,” Jim Sturdivant says.

Indeed it is, therapists say.

“I think it’s the most important time together a family has,” says Bert Pitts, a psychologist and owner of Pitts and Associates in Homewood.

Frequent family mealtimes — minus modern-day diversions such as iPods and Blackberries — instill a sense of belonging, enhance communication skills and support emotional well-being.

“It can be a time of feeding in every way — physically, spiritually and emotionally,” Pitts says.

Frequent family dining is even associated with lower rates of teen smoking, drinking, and legal and illegal drug use. Compared to teens who regularly participate in family dinners, teens who don’t are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug (other than marijuana), according to information from the Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration. Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, too, such as skipping meals, diet-pill abuse and anorexia.

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University considers family meals so important that they sponsor an annual initiative, “Family Day — A Day to Eat Dinner With Your Children,” which falls this year on September 22.

Then there’s this: “It’s the basis for teaching social skills and manners,” says Vivian Friedman, clinical psychologist and professor at UAB School of Medicine.

All of which should alleviate your guilt about requiring Junior to come to the table, or temporarily confiscating any electronics that come with him.

“You don’t allow that,” Friedman says. “The dinner table is for everybody to gather together and talk about their day.”

And yes, they’re aware this isn’t the’50s, and your family might not resemble the Cleavers (with June cooking the bacon, brought home by Ward, while Wally and “the Beav” play in the yard). Occasionally, it’s all you can do to drive through Burger Doodle — soccer-cleated, cheerleading-uniformed kids in tow — and call it dinner.

“I know it’s hard to make it happen,” Pitts says. “If you’re only able to sit down once or twice or three times a week, don’t beat yourself up.”

That doesn’t mean, though, it shouldn’t be a priority, they say.

“It shouldn’t be that, ‘We’ll have dinner together if there’s nothing else to do,”’ Friedman says. “It should be, ‘We eat together unless something important comes up.”’

It can help, Pitts says, if you redefine “family dinner” as a “common meal.”

“There are three meals every day,” he says. “You might be able to grab more if you get creative.”

On weekends, Pitts entices his daughters to the table by cooking a hearty breakfast. He’ll make lunch for the same reason.

“Parents shouldn’t be servants, but if making both of my daughters a sandwich for lunch gets them to come sit down with me, then hey, it’s worth it,” he says.

Which brings up the importance of a home-cooked meal, a la June Cleaver.

“Whether you buy a tray of barbecue at Sam’s and pop it in the oven, or whether you slave all day making your own barbecue, doesn’t make any difference,” Friedman says. “The issue is whether you sit down together and share your day.”

The common meal doesn’t necessarily have to be at home, either.

“Having it in the home as much as possible is good. But shoot, you can have it anywhere,” Pitts says. “Four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the stands at Junior’s softball game counts, too.”

It counts, too, if not everyone can make it to the meal.

“It has more to do with the structure than the fact that absolutely everyone is there,” Friedman says.

Don’t worry, either, if the conversation doesn’t sparkle every time your feet are under the table.

“Not every meal is going to be this ‘great talking opportunity,”’ Jim Sturdivant says.

Do avoid an “anything goes” mentality, though, therapists say. And no discipline allowed at the table (beyond table manners).

“We encourage parents to keep the conversation positive, and to make sure everyone gets a chance to speak,” says Lauren Duran, director of communications at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

Dinners at Suzanne and Bryan Reed’s home, for example, include questions for all.

“We ask every family member, ‘What was your favorite part about the day?’ and ‘What was your least favorite part about the day?”’ the Vestavia Hills man says.

So when they’re grown, perhaps they’ll say that family meals are among their favorite memories.

“You’re taking some time out from the world and devoting it to each other,” Pitts says. “You can’t put a value on that.”

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Information from: The Birmingham News