Each weekday morning when I wake at 5:30 a.m., I am treated to the “eat-more-exercise-less” Total Body Makeover infomercial.

This diet system uses a process called “blueprinting,” and one woman claims she lost 50 pounds in one month all because she drew lines on a diagram of a woman’s body showing where she’d like to reduce. Oh, and she ate more and exercised less.

From the frequency of the infomercials, I’m guessing the marketing plan is working, but I don’t know how desperate I’d have to be to think all I need to do is draw my ideal self to whittle the fat in real life. My daughter often drew me as a stick figure when she was in elementary school and look at me now.

I’ve been trying the other part – the “eat-more-exercise-less” routine – for five years now and what I gained was 40 pounds, some cellulite and the knowledge that sitting on the sofa, eating peanut butter ice cream and watching weight-loss infomercials will never get me in a size 8 again. I also learned that buying magazines in the supermarket that shout “Lose 10 pounds in 10 days!” only helps if you don’t also read the recipe inside for fudge-filled chocolate chunk brownies and bake a batch or four.

A new weight-loss idea recently caught my attention: the Katie Couric-lose-20-pounds-in-five-minutes plan. On this diet, all you need is photo-editing software and an unethical photo technician willing to airbrush the weight off your photos.

The doctored image of Katie, which appears in this month’s Watch! magazine, exchanges her more matronly waistline for chic slimness, all with a click of a mouse. CBS took responsibility for the photo, saying an overzealous photo technician took it upon him or herself to make Katie look thinner. Katie, who began her job as CBS Evening News anchor Tuesday, denied having any knowledge of the change and said she preferred the undoctored image of herself.

Maybe.

But, with my skill with the airbrush tool, I’m considering giving my own photo a little trim. Click, click, slimmer cheeks. Click, thinner upper arms. The only drawback – I can never be seen in person again.

The other thing I learned from all those magazines with articles that urge women to shed the extra pounds on one page and expound the virtues of banana cream pie on the next is that life ain’t fair.

With my newfound wisdom, I decided about a month ago that the only true diet plan is to eat less and exercise more. I know what you’re thinking – it means getting off the sofa. It means no more peanut butter ice cream. It involves more sweat than writing out a check to the Total Body Makeover.

It also means I’ve lost 10 pounds rather than 50, but I’m not worried. I’m in it for the long haul because, well, life ain’t fair.