By Karen Middleton
ATHENS — Wonder what Tiger Woods is doing these days to keep warm?
Oh, grow up.
Don’t we have enough to worry about just taking care of ourselves during this cold snap?
Being a transplant from Michigan, I used to be somewhat amused by Southerners’ overreactions to cold. And dare I mention snow?
I stopped into a local grocery store Monday to pick up two items and there were lines at all registers. Either it was payday or residents were preparing for the (possible) 2-3 inches of snow predicted for Thursday.
Bread and milk sales skyrocketed.
Should all city and county public services fail during this storm of the century, residents will keep body and soul together with sandwiches and cold milk. If they had the foresight to buy a generator or some other form of alternative energy, maybe they’ll be warding off famine with toast and hot chocolate.
We peel back the lid on a can of soup with a hand opener and shudder at the prospect of cold, slimy noodles sliding down our throats and think, Dang! Why didn’t we listen?
So now that I have officially lived in the South as long as I lived in the North, I no longer burden my friends and neighbors with tales of snowplows with ocean liner-like prows knocking aside giant snow boulders to free my family from frozen captivity, or how my sled dog Nannook suffered frostbitten foot pads as he and I single-handedly struggled to bring jars of Vicks VapoRub to residents of Michigan’s thumb region that the snowplow had been unable to get to.
So anyway, I’m ready for tomorrow. I’ve got bread. I’ve got milk. I’ve got a Slanket my daughter gave me for Christmas. I’ve got a big cardboard box to which I can hitch my 15-year-old, 21-pound cat Robert in case I’m called on to make Vicks VapoRub deliveries.
Seriously, folks, if you know people who are hurting from the cold, help them out. Frigid temperatures can be brutal on the elderly or those with inadequate food, shelter, coats or heat.
