Most (intelligent) American men have learned how to avoid answering the booby-trapped question, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?”
Skillfully avoiding answering or convincingly lying makes cohabitation oh so much simpler.
But in France, rising to the bait with a simple “Oui” could lead to an ankle-monitoring bracelet.
Yes, the country where real men eat quiche is to introduce a law banning “psychological violence” in marriage. The term could cover such matters as “off hand comments about appearance.”
While emotional and physical abuse in relationships, whether in marriage or cohabitation, is no laughing matter, it would seem that the French are indeed wading into some muddy water at the bottom of which lies a bed of quicksand.
One French sociologist Pierre Bonnet was quoted by the Web site Mail Online, as saying, “The next step will be to make rudeness a criminal offense. The police and courts will be overstretched trying to deal with the numerous cases.”
Under the proposed French law, repeat offenders are the ones most likely to wind up with an ankle-monitoring device.
But my understanding of ankle monitors is that they give authorities an idea of where you are spending your time. To be effective in this case, the bracelet would also have to have eavesdropping and recording capabilities to allow someone to listen to conversations and determine if damaging insults are exchanged.
And who’s to decide? How does one qualify as an arbiter of the crude, even setting aside the obvious violation of privacy involved here?
And should the case make it to court and a jury trial, if that’s how the justice system works in France, is the recording enough evidence to convict?
Or would the allegedly offended victim have to parade in front of the jury in the point-of-contention jeans so the members could determine if the accused was guilty of willful meanness or simple (if imprudent) truthfulness?
The story posted on Mail Online by reporter Peter Allen conjectures that if the law is successful in France it could be adopted by countries throughout Europe and even Britain.
So if this spreads across the pond, guys, watch your mouths.
Practice in front of a mirror saying, “Actually, those jeans are very flattering. Well, of course, not that you’d need anything to flatter your already perfect form. You look great—really.”
News Courier columnist Karen Middleton may be reached at (256) 232-2720, ext. 111.
