When I was kid we lived in a tenant house with no indoor plumbing, owned no car and made a half-bale of cotton per acre.
“Young’n, this gravy train we’re rid’n won’t last forever,” Daddy often said.
I assumed that we were rich. Daddy invested heavily in dogs and shotgun shells. We owned 17 fox hounds, two bird dogs and a yard dog. Even Rockefeller didn’t have that many mutts. We also had a radio and listened to the Grand Ole Opry every Saturday night.
I received a new pair of jeans and shoes each fall and got to attend the Limestone County Fair where I rode the merry-go-round and saw the tattooed fat lady. Daddy was right. We were on a gravy train.
He was always preparing me psychologically for the next Depression, which according to him was coming.
“You’ll be eat’n rabbits and squirrel and be glad to have it,” he said.
He enjoyed telling about one Depression family living in the community that barked like hounds while chasing a rabbit into a hollow log and then twisting it out with a bamboo briar.
After hearing gloom and doom I didn’t dare ask for a quarter.
Although Daddy’s expertise was cotton farming, fox hunting, and quail hunting, he may have been a financial seer.
The gravy train has slowed down.
Today, financial experts tell us not to panic. It’s a time to buy, they say, while at the same time they are panicking and baling out of the market. They need fools like you and me to buy what they sell. I don’t trust anyone with a $200 haircut who wears wide gray pinstripe suits and yellow silk neckties.
In these times of economic crisis, I recommend Poor Richard’s Almanac, written by Benjamin Franklin in 1732. Any fat, ugly 70-year-old man who went to Paris as ambassador of the Continental Congress and swung with young French women in King Louis XVI’s court, is worthy of our attention.
While visiting Philadelphia on July 4, 2006, I purchased a copy of Poor Richard’s Almanac for $2. I’ll share some of his financial gems of wisdom, discussed and interpreted by Alvin and Thelma of Rt. 4:
• “The second vice is lying; the first is running in debt.” (Dadgumit, Thelma! That means you maxed out the Visa again and lied about it.)
• “Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee.” (Alvin, that means you gotta get your sorry carcass outta bed, sober up and go to work. We’re about out of cigarettes and beer.)
• “If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher’s stone.” (Thelma, that means we’re spending more money than we earn. What else is new, dummy?)
• “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” (Thelma, that means you’ve gotta stop hav’n yer nails done every week. Stuff it, Alvin?)
• “Spare and have is better than to spend and crave.” (Thelma, you keep harping about sav’n money, but just let me get a new tree stand, we’ll start sav’n next year.)
• “A penny saved is a penny earned.” (Heck Thelma, why save a penny? It won’t buy anything?)
• “For age and want save while you may; no morning sun lasts all day.” (Thelma, that don’t’ mean Jack anymore. The guv’met’ll take care of us if we need help. Are you goin’ to Tunica or not?)
There is another saying that still rings true today: “Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other.”
Jerry Barksdale
October 20, 2008
Diplomatic Expulsions Follow Fresh Syria Report
15 Dead in Northern Italy's 5.8-magnitude Quake
Angry Birds Spreading Their Wings
Witness Describes Fla. Face-chewing Attack
Man Falls Off Crane, Dies After Police Standoff
Russia Condemns Ally Syria Over Massacre of 108
Dairy Farm Uses Chiropractor to Help Cows
Unexpected Smog in Pristine National Parks
Air Canada Plane Makes Emergency Landing
New Ticks Spread Across Southeast, Diseases Rise
Bring Your Own Tech Programs Charge Up Students
Pope's Butler Vows to Help Vatican Investigation
Mother of Allegedly Abused Girl Denies Claims
Raw Video: 19 Dead in Qatar Shopping Mall Fire
Service Dogs Help Wash. Soldiers Battling PTSD
Raw Video: Heckler Bursts in on Blair Testimony
Japan Farmers Plant, Seek Radiation-free Rice
