Getting kicked off the gravy train

Discussion

October 20, 2008

By Jerry Barksdale The News Courier Mon Oct 20, 2008, 01:32 PM CDT

When I was kid we lived in a tenant house with no indoor plumbing, owned no car and made a half-bale of cotton per acre.

“Young’n, this gravy train we’re rid’n won’t last forever,” Daddy often said.

I assumed that we were rich. Daddy invested heavily in dogs and shotgun shells. We owned 17 fox hounds, two bird dogs and a yard dog. Even Rockefeller didn’t have that many mutts. We also had a radio and listened to the Grand Ole Opry every Saturday night.

I received a new pair of jeans and shoes each fall and got to attend the Limestone County Fair where I rode the merry-go-round and saw the tattooed fat lady. Daddy was right. We were on a gravy train.

He was always preparing me psychologically for the next Depression, which according to him was coming.

“You’ll be eat’n rabbits and squirrel and be glad to have it,” he said.

He enjoyed telling about one Depression family living in the community that barked like hounds while chasing a rabbit into a hollow log and then twisting it out with a bamboo briar.

After hearing gloom and doom I didn’t dare ask for a quarter.

Although Daddy’s expertise was cotton farming, fox hunting, and quail hunting, he may have been a financial seer.

The gravy train has slowed down.

Today, financial experts tell us not to panic. It’s a time to buy, they say, while at the same time they are panicking and baling out of the market. They need fools like you and me to buy what they sell. I don’t trust anyone with a $200 haircut who wears wide gray pinstripe suits and yellow silk neckties.

In these times of economic crisis, I recommend Poor Richard’s Almanac, written by Benjamin Franklin in 1732. Any fat, ugly 70-year-old man who went to Paris as ambassador of the Continental Congress and swung with young French women in King Louis XVI’s court, is worthy of our attention.

While visiting Philadelphia on July 4, 2006, I purchased a copy of Poor Richard’s Almanac for $2. I’ll share some of his financial gems of wisdom, discussed and interpreted by Alvin and Thelma of Rt. 4:

• “The second vice is lying; the first is running in debt.” (Dadgumit, Thelma! That means you maxed out the Visa again and lied about it.)

• “Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee.” (Alvin, that means you gotta get your sorry carcass outta bed, sober up and go to work. We’re about out of cigarettes and beer.)

• “If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher’s stone.” (Thelma, that means we’re spending more money than we earn. What else is new, dummy?)

• “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” (Thelma, that means you’ve gotta stop hav’n yer nails done every week. Stuff it, Alvin?)

• “Spare and have is better than to spend and crave.” (Thelma, you keep harping about sav’n money, but just let me get a new tree stand, we’ll start sav’n next year.)

• “A penny saved is a penny earned.” (Heck Thelma, why save a penny? It won’t buy anything?)

• “For age and want save while you may; no morning sun lasts all day.” (Thelma, that don’t’ mean Jack anymore. The guv’met’ll take care of us if we need help. Are you goin’ to Tunica or not?)

There is another saying that still rings true today: “Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other.”

Text Only

Jerry Barksdale

Never judge a lawyer by his cover
December 26, 2008
Honeymooners by proxy overcame obstacles I figured I was pretty cool. I could inhale without coughing, exhale through my nose and steer my green and white ‘55 Chevy while resting my elbow out the window.
December 12, 2008
Honeymooners, by proxy, overcame obstacles
December 12, 2008
Voice not from angel of his better nature My good friend, Robert Dunnavant Jr. died in 1995. I miss him. We were great pals except when we were having a spat.
December 4, 2008
Avoid gun-toting women, mean horses and Harleys It’s important to the mental health of guys that we perceive ourselves as real men. However, being macho is expensive and can be dangerous. I know from experience.
November 17, 2008
Getting kicked off the gravy train When I was kid we lived in a tenant house with no indoor plumbing, owned no car and made a half-bale of cotton per acre.

“Young’n, this gravy train we’re rid’n won’t last forever,” Daddy often said.
October 20, 2008
Taunting trout is a justifiable defense I may be the world’s champ trout angler.

Trout anglers are different from regular fishermen who spit on their hooks for good luck. They don’t dig worms, bait minnows or eat Beanie Weenies while fishing. No way!

They sip scotch whiskey, tie flies and attend school on how to cast a fly rod. They don’t call themselves fishermen; they are anglers.
October 6, 2008
Defending the legacy of Roy, Gene and Hoppy

When I was a kid I believed that Roy Rogers was “King of the Cowboys” and that Trigger was “the world’s smartest horse in the movies.”
September 20, 2008
What did you say? Dodged bullet on that one
August 9, 2008
Dream canoe trip ends in 'spectacular landing' We unloaded at a small ferry and buckled on life preservers while Mike slid the canoe into the swift current and held it steady.

Being a gentleman, I let Pat board first.

“Hey, lady! Turn around, you’re seated backward,” said Mike. “I thought you had experience.”

Big deal! Anyone can get confused about directions. I pushed off.
July 28, 2008
More Jerry Barksdale Headlines

Jerry Barksdale

Search Results

Discussion

Getting kicked off the gravy train

What is the most important issue state legislators will tackle this session?

Site Map

Contact Us