Back in the day, dating was easy. You had your best friend slip a note to his best friend with the message:
I like you.
Do you like me?
Yes _ No _
It worked for Dusty Bullock when we were 10, right up until we broke up and I threw his bubble-gum-machine ring in his face. But for two days, it was heaven.
You married folks will have to trust me when I tell you it’s not so simple any more. It'll make you rethink that divorce.
Some people say they enjoy being able to communicate via e-mail, instant message, texting or Facebook. It gives them the opportunity to get to know someone in a non-threatening way.
Hmmm.
As a person who writes for a living, you might think I’d agree but here’s the problem: Sometimes the written word defies nuances you’d get in person -- the tone, a smile, a frown, someone giving you the finger, that type thing.
That’s why the ubiquitous “they” — probably the mysterious people who gave us the Internet in the first place — came up with emoticons, those cutesy symbols that let someone know the tone in which to take your communication.
Then it was teenagers who added the initialisms: OMG, IDK, LOL, ROTFLMBO.
Here’s what I say about that: G-A-G.
I messaged OMG to someone the other day and felt like an 11 year old.
I only write LOL if I actually AM laughing out loud, which is rare because I am one of those who laughs on the inside. Even when the anvil falls on Wile E. Coyote’s head.
If they had considered adults when creating these things, they’d have made one for Crying Out Loud.
So let’s consider the way modern technology can lead to miscommunication between potential partners.
Read these versions of this line:
• “I had fun last night.” Simple, non-threatening, but could be about two guys watching a football game and scarfing down spinach-artichoke dip.
• “I had fun last night. :) ” The smile implies some actual fun was had but what type is left to the imagination.
• “I had fun last night ;) ” The little winky guy could mean the writer is being cute and playful. Or it could mean you’ll soon need to take out a restraining order.
• “Last night was fun. LOL.” Really? You need to ask yourself: Why is he laughing out loud? Is he laughing AT you or WITH you? Or is he just off his nut, sitting there laughing at his computer?
See the problem?
For a person whose business is communication, I am at a loss.
A message my friend received from a guy on a dating site at least was straightforward and without potential for confusion: “Bow chicka wow wow. Wanna hook up?”
I’m open to advice. Let me know how your techno-dating is going.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a date, send my friend a note with these options:
I like you.
Do you like me?
No _ Bow chicka wow wow _
It’s just easier that way.
You can reach Kelly Kazek at kelly@athensnews-courier.com
Kelly Kazek
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