Y’all may think it’s easy writing a weekly humor column but I am here to tell you it can be downright stressful to try to be funny on demand.
It’s not like I’m some Dave Barry type who not only was possessed of a very strange mind — OK, maybe that does sound like me — but had five whole days to whip out 500 words — That’s only 100 words per day, or about six every waking hour. (See, despite all those rumors, journalists can do math).
I can’t sit around all day writing brilliant openers like “A funny thing happened on the way to Dog Days …” or “Take my publisher … please.”
I have a paper to run here.
Some days, like has happened this month, the sheriff will call and say. “Get over to the jail, quick. We’re bringing in a moonshiner and his still.”
What kind of journalist would I be if I passed up the chance to see a real-for-sure still and put its picture on the front page to embarrass the entire state of Alabama? (Again.)
Even Californians would have made fun of the sad looking cannabis plant authorities found behind the still. It looked a little like poke sallet that had been boiled to long.
Or I might have to go take a photo of a “spa” that turned out to be a home to an alleged prostitution ring. Who could have looked at the sign that said “Pleasers” with a photo of a woman in a sexy pose and not thought this was simply a place for mani-pedis and an herbal wrap?
So, as you can tell, my job gets complicated at times. And humor, like any art form, takes time to create.
Then it hit me. I wrote “art.”
So I said to myself, “Self, whaddya know? You are an arteest — no matter what that woman said in her e-mail last week after the column on Chuck Norris and the Ten Commandments judge. What was that naughty word she called me again? Oh, yeah, feminist.”
Seems if you are a woman with a job and an opinion, you are a feminist.
Any-hoo, because I didn’t have any funny ideas for a column this week (despite the story we published last week on the fundraiser in which people will be hung by their skin from hooks) I am writing about humor in hopes it will make a good substitute.
To enhance my column, by which I mean pad it out until it’s long enough, I took myself all the way to the bookstore to check out the offerings in the humor aisle.
As I had begun to learn from the anti-feminism woman, I realized humor is very subjective.
One person’s Hemingway is another person’s “Farts: A Spotter’s Guide.”
Would a publisher release a book called “Stuff on my Cat,” which contains, by the way, photos of various stuff on various cats, if she (notice the feminist pronoun) did not believe there would be an audience?
Apparently there also is an audience for: “Things Drunk People Do,” “Things White People Like” and “A Pot Smoker’s Handbook.”
Huh.
From an author’s standpoint, I particularly liked the format of the book “11002 Things to Be Miserable About,” which was just a list of things that make people unhappy. I imagine it's a real gut-buster.
However, in my book “Fairly Odd Mother, Musings of a Slightly Off Southern Mom,” on sale now at Pablo’s on Market and amazon.com, I use the tried-and-true method of trying to be funny without writing anything my grandmother couldn’t read.
So that’s my column on humor writing, which, by the way, was not a ploy to plug my book.
Just be sure to look for my next book: “Peanut Butter on My Cat: Things Drunk Dogs Do.”
Kelly Kazek
Related Photos
-
Kelly Kazek
Discussion
Humor writing can be stressful
- Kelly Kazek
-
-
Each generation contends with struggles
This generation of young people thinks art appreciation is LOLing at Google Doodles. They don’t know dictionaries and encyclopedias were items you used to have to actually hold on your laptop, and they could be really heavy.
-
Whoever said it, it's still true
It’s a great feeling to have a daughter who holds a job, keeps her grades up, manages her own money and still takes time for fun with friends in a healthy balance. After she sat on the sofa during high school and watched two seasons of “The Jersey Shore,” I wasn’t so sure.
-
Biography of Kelly Kazek
Kelly Kazek was born in Warner Robins, Ga., in whichever year adds up to her being 35.
-
I was proud to be part of it
I am proud to serve on the committee that is helping make the memorial a reality and I wanted to thank everyone who was instrumental in the plan.
-
In Athens, Ala., grease is the word ...
I think the festival is a great idea. On that day, we can unabashedly show our love for all things Southern, as well as all things Greek. That means we can eat fried macaroni-and-cheese bites while wearing togas, which, if twisted just right, can be very slimming. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.
-
Most of us have no choice about work
I think our system has devolved to the point that all politicians, and by extension their families, are so wealthy they can’t truly have an understanding of the lives of ordinary people.
-
I won! I won! I won! I won!
I made a decision a long time ago that I do not wish to win mega-millions. Nope, I’ll earn mine the old fashioned way: One sweat-stained penny at a time. I should reach a million by the time I’m, say, 142.
-
If you’re stupid and you know it, clap your hands
And as the saying goes, “Ignorance of your own stupidity is probably a good thing,” or something like that.
-
Imagine bringing own toilet paper to work
Humor writers rarely have the occasion to hear four sweeter words than “great toilet paper debacle,” but in the case of Trenton, N.J., a recent incident is more of a cause for sadness and reflection than ridicule and laughter.
-
Machines don't understand Southern accents
... they are either not programmed to understand the subtleties of the Southern accent, or they’re programmed to drive us to therapy.
- More Kelly Kazek Headlines
-
Secret Service Boss: 'I Apologize'
Giant Bull Head Draws Drivers to South Dakota
Astrodome Fades As Houston Decides Fate
Egyptians Vote in Historic Presidential Election
Franciscan Files Tell Stories of Priest Abuse
Wildfire Destroys 2 Homes
Flight Diverted After Suspicious Note
Joplin Remembers Deadly Tornado, 1 Year Later
Panel Recommends Against Routine Prostate Test
Fired Lingerie Employee Claims Discrimination
Joplin Marches to 'Remember' Tornado Victims
Facebook Shares Continue Negative Slide
Cuba Waiting for Cyber Age to Come
8 Hurt in Oklahoma Shooting After NBA Playoff
Sheriff: DNA Links Suspect to Missing CA Teen
US Airways: Diverted Flight Has 'Landed Safely'
Revived Focus on Regulation After JPMorgan Loss
