The News-Courier in Athens, Alabama

January 23, 2010

Beauty is within, but outside wants a date

By Kelly Kazek

Y’all know I fully support the whole inner beauty concept, right?

Problem is, my outside keeps wanting to go with me on dates so …

I have now lost a dress size so I am working on making the outside as utterly gorgeous as my inside. I am doing so through hard work and exercise — oh, and I had Shannon lock up all the chocolate and she refuses to give me the blasted key.

Dang kid’s about to lose driving privileges.

Anyhoo, I was reading a story last week that makes me question if other people truly believe beauty is only skin deep. The story in People magazine featured Heidi Montag and the 10 plastic surgery procedures she had done in a single day. It includes a cover quote from the 23-year-old: “I’m obsessed.”

But before you go judging the bleach-blonde too harshly, you should read further. Inside the magazine, Heidi is quoted as saying: “What people think about me at the end of the day doesn‘t really matter.”

Hmmm.

My first thought was it’s a good thing she doesn’t care what people think because it took a little help from Yahoo and Google for me to even know who Barbie, er, Heidi is. After finding out she is a “reality” show queen (and I use the word “reality” very loosely), I was curious as to why a 20-something goddess would feel the need to have $30,000 of improvements made.

Here is what she had done — this time — according to People: mini brow lift; forehead Botox; nose job revision; fat injections in cheeks, nose lines and lips; chin reduction, neck lipo; ears pinned; breast augmentation revision; liposuction of waist, hips, inner and outer thighs; and buttock augmentation.

Alrighty then.

She also is quoted as saying she told no one in her family, other than her “reality” husband, about the surgeries because last time their reactions were “really negative.”

Ya think?

After getting over my shock that anyone would have fat purposely placed INSIDE her body, I worried about poor, poor Heidi.

Bless her little relatively rich, slightly famous heart.

But that was before I happened upon a television interview for Good Morning America in which Heidi was asked about her breast implants, which at DDD do not create her dream cleavage.

The reporter seemed a little discombobulated at Heidi’s need for more ample, um, self esteem in a cup, so to speak.

Heidi, who has said DDD was as large as the plastic surgeon would implant at the time, told the reporter she wants to be larger.

We can only assume she’s shooting for an H cup because it’s, like, the first letter of her name.

The Good Morning America reporter seemed concerned that Heidi was sending the wrong message to her teen fans.

But Heidi was clear: “My main message is beauty is really within.”

In that case, I think she needs a little work done on her brain.

In the meantime, anyone know how to pick a padlock … ?