Who’s in charge of revoking Southern membership?
We need to find him and tell him to kick Atlanta-born Kanye West out of our club.
No right-thinking Southern man would pick a fight with a girl, much less a flaxen-haired, alabaster-skinned, doe-eyed teenage girl who sings pop ditties sweeter than Froot Loops and about as filling.
But there Kanye was, snuffing the light right out of poor little Taylor Swift’s eyes and wiping the sparkle from her grin when he dissed her on live TV last Sunday during the MTV Video Music Awards.
Bless her little country heart.
He may as well have pulled the wings off Tinkerbell.
He may as well have killed Bambi’s mother.
Some are wondering if Kanye’s hijacking of Taylor’s acceptance speech to spout his anger over Beyoncé’s loss was a publicity stunt.
I would have said that no sane-thinking person would make himself look like an ad for reverse evolution for the sake of publicity, but then I remembered Johnny Knoxville and Jon Gosselin.
The gist of some bloggers’ claims is that Kanye’s CD sales were going south and now he has an excuse to disappear from the limelight and get his act together.
I’m thinking the man who dressed in a crown of thorns for a magazine cover does not feel the need for excuses.
That, plus wearing sunglasses at night, requiring a tow-truck-chain for the bling around his neck and referring to himself in third person, are indicators that Kanye does not feel the need to excuse anything he does.
He apparently thinks he’s so special there should be a blue light over his head.
What’s that Chinese proverb? He who is his own biggest fan has a mule’s hindend for a fan club president, or something like that.
Here’s someone we can vote to take Kanye’s place when we kick him out of the South: Jay Leno.
Who knew the nasal-voiced, New York native had enough Southern mama running through his veins to not only play the “what would your mama think” card, but to play the “what would your dead mama think” card?
Jay had Kanye blubbering and stammering like, well, like Taylor Swift at the VMAs.
Despite her doe-stepping-into-the-hunting-blind look, Taylor handled the incident with grace and maturity.
She even went on The View to discuss her feelings and I personally think it takes more nerve to survive those shrews, er, women than to facedown a rapper with a Jesus complex.
The upside is, Taylor now has material for a new song, something with more grit than her teeny-bopper tunes like “Love Story.”
Then again, little Taylor would have a hard time pulling off the angst-ridden, Alanis Morisette thing so maybe it would be best if everyone told her it was all a bad dream.
Bless her little doe-eyed heart.
Kelly Kazek
Let's kick Kanye West out of the South
- Kelly Kazek
-
-
Each generation contends with struggles
This generation of young people thinks art appreciation is LOLing at Google Doodles. They don’t know dictionaries and encyclopedias were items you used to have to actually hold on your laptop, and they could be really heavy.
-
Whoever said it, it's still true
It’s a great feeling to have a daughter who holds a job, keeps her grades up, manages her own money and still takes time for fun with friends in a healthy balance. After she sat on the sofa during high school and watched two seasons of “The Jersey Shore,” I wasn’t so sure.
-
Biography of Kelly Kazek
Kelly Kazek was born in Warner Robins, Ga., in whichever year adds up to her being 35.
-
I was proud to be part of it
I am proud to serve on the committee that is helping make the memorial a reality and I wanted to thank everyone who was instrumental in the plan.
-
In Athens, Ala., grease is the word ...
I think the festival is a great idea. On that day, we can unabashedly show our love for all things Southern, as well as all things Greek. That means we can eat fried macaroni-and-cheese bites while wearing togas, which, if twisted just right, can be very slimming. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.
-
Most of us have no choice about work
I think our system has devolved to the point that all politicians, and by extension their families, are so wealthy they can’t truly have an understanding of the lives of ordinary people.
-
I won! I won! I won! I won!
I made a decision a long time ago that I do not wish to win mega-millions. Nope, I’ll earn mine the old fashioned way: One sweat-stained penny at a time. I should reach a million by the time I’m, say, 142.
-
If you’re stupid and you know it, clap your hands
And as the saying goes, “Ignorance of your own stupidity is probably a good thing,” or something like that.
-
Imagine bringing own toilet paper to work
Humor writers rarely have the occasion to hear four sweeter words than “great toilet paper debacle,” but in the case of Trenton, N.J., a recent incident is more of a cause for sadness and reflection than ridicule and laughter.
-
Machines don't understand Southern accents
... they are either not programmed to understand the subtleties of the Southern accent, or they’re programmed to drive us to therapy.
- More Kelly Kazek Headlines
-
Secret Service Boss: 'I Apologize'
Giant Bull Head Draws Drivers to South Dakota
Astrodome Fades As Houston Decides Fate
Egyptians Vote in Historic Presidential Election
Franciscan Files Tell Stories of Priest Abuse
Wildfire Destroys 2 Homes
Flight Diverted After Suspicious Note
Joplin Remembers Deadly Tornado, 1 Year Later
Panel Recommends Against Routine Prostate Test
Fired Lingerie Employee Claims Discrimination
Joplin Marches to 'Remember' Tornado Victims
Facebook Shares Continue Negative Slide
Cuba Waiting for Cyber Age to Come
8 Hurt in Oklahoma Shooting After NBA Playoff
Sheriff: DNA Links Suspect to Missing CA Teen
US Airways: Diverted Flight Has 'Landed Safely'
Revived Focus on Regulation After JPMorgan Loss
