Octo-mom vs. Octo-mom smackdown sure to draw a crowd

Kelly Kazek

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June 8, 2009

By Kelly Kazek The News Courier Mon Jun 08, 2009, 07:36 AM CDT

As much as I’ve embarrassed my daughter in this column, I think the two Octo-moms have outdone me.

Can you imagine the baby books the kids of Nadya Suleman and the “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” are gonna have?

The Octo-moms — Nadya with the eight she gave birth to at one time; Kate Gosselin with the sextuplets, plus the two older ones — are apparently in a public smackdown.

Of course, they are fighting via media in separate cities because fighting face-to-face would require slapping and hair pulling and that wouldn’t make a good photo opp, plus it would muss the hair and the gloss on those giant Jolie-esque lips.

Given what passes for entertainment these days, they’ve got an audience, which is likely what they both want.

It seems the two are criticizing each other over how their reality shows — Kate a veteran on the TLC network and Nadya with a contract in the works — will impact their children.

After Kate blasted Nadya’s choice of having so many children while single — she already had six at home when she became pregnant with eight — Nadya said in an interview that her show won’t “exploit” her kids like Kate’s does.

Hmmm.

Y’all know I never like to judge folks so this is very hard for me to say, but I feel it is my duty to be honest and informative in this column — they’re both celebrity wannabes who wear their kids like accessories.

Hope that wasn’t too harsh.

But we have to face facts:

Kate, she’s got that Posh Spice Beckham haircut goin’ on and she comes across like a little snot.

And Nadya, who looks a little like Angelina Jolie but no one can determine if it’s on purpose or not, has a slight problem with her over-plumped lips: She looks like Donald Duck when she talks. I know. I told you it hurts me to have to say such things. It’s just an observation, that’s all.

But it seems neither of them are thinking of the kids. Jon and Kate are embroiled in a scandal, with talks that he’s having an affair and TLC shopping for him an apartment so the network can film this year’s episodes with the couple separated. Oooooh.

Sounds like my kind of TV. Let’s watch a marriage implode.

But I bet thousands of people will watch. Guess it makes them feel better about themselves.

Everyone knows marriages in “reality TV world” have a much shorter life span than marriages in the real world, anyway.

Nick and Jessica. Britney and Kevin. Hulk and Linda. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro. Whitney and Bobby.

Everyone except for Ozzie and Sharon and that’s probably only because Sharon couldn’t make out the words when Ozzie asked for a divorce, or because Ozzie couldn’t find his way to the bathroom without her. Either way, it seems a marriage made in, well, somewhere.

Word in the tabloids is that Kate’s been bikini-beachin’ it without Jon so if she hasn’t had time to put all the clips in the kids’ baby books, no worries. The Internet is forever.

The Gosselin and Suleman babies will be able to relive their mommies’ catfights for decades to come.

And the Gosselins will have a play-by-play on Mommy and Daddy’s marital troubles.

It will either save a lot or cost a lot in therapy bills.

It’s hard to say at this point.

I just hope those cameramen have been spending some time with the kids, maybe buying them an ice cream every now and then.

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Kelly Kazek

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