What I am about to say is likely to start one of those stay-at-home vs. working-mom wars, but just let me say this: tough.
Now don’t get your pedal pushers in a knot. I admire stay-at-home moms. Some of my best friends are stay-at-home moms.
I think kids were born to make our lives miserable no matter what kind of moms we are. The 2-day-olds in the hospital nursery — you know, the experienced ones —are whispering to the ones the nurses just brought in, “Psst. Hey, kid, here’s the poop. When you get home, you start crying, see? They won’t know why. They’ll try the diaper, but you don’t stop. They’ll try the bottle, but you don’t stop. They’ll try rocking, but you don’t stop. When they try the diaper again, stop, but only for a few minutes. Then start again but only ’til they try the bottle. Then, you should poop just for the heck of it. Try to make it a greenish color. It makes them all anxious. See how it works?”
It’s just how it is with kids.
So there’s no need for us moms to be divisive.
The problem I have is that each Mother’s Day, “researchers” trot out this tired old survey about how many gazillions of dollars stay-at-home moms would be making if only they received a paycheck for their efforts. And, of course, we all know they’d be deserving.
They have jobs, too. They work, too — they chose keeping a home over working “outside” the home.
But the “researchers,” by which I mean graying men in little white coats who live in their mother’s basements, have never met a woman who works outside the home and thus seem to have overlooked one tiny little detail: those of us who work outside the home still also must work INSIDE THE HOME.
I don’t know about you, but I have never once arrived home from work to find a stealth stay-at-home mom with time on her hands has sneaked in during the day and done my laundry, vacuumed my floor, put away my dishes and cleaned the cat vomit from my carpet.
And strangely enough, even though the school system does by-and-large care for my child during the day, I still have to raise her at night and on weekends.
As a single mom, the only thing I am missing is a man in the house, and I think taking a huzzband to raise really should add to our paychecks because then we have to use our womanly wiles to make them think taking our the trash it their idea.
“Sweetums, have you been working out? Let me see hose biceps. While you’re holding up that trashcan, could you just put it out by the curb? Thanks, Stud Muffin.”
So I’m not trying to start a fight. All I’m sayin’ is, if we’re adding up paychecks for the work moms do around the house, I want in on that action.
All moms are deserving of a little extra pay this time of year.
There’s no need to fight about it — as long as you stay-at-home moms don’t do your grocery shopping for a family of six while I’m trying to buy my Lean Cuisine during my lunch hour.
I’m just sayin’.
Kelly Kazek
All moms deserve a little extra pay
- Kelly Kazek
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What are smart phones really planning?
You may think I still use eight-track cassettes and BETA tapes, too, but, no, it’s only with phones that I draw the line. I have my reasons. Hear me out.
- Twinkies need government bailout
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Biography of Kelly Kazek
Kelly Kazek was born in Warner Robins, Ga., in whichever year adds up to her being 35.
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Surreal episode irks orchestra director
When the iPhone’s common ringtone, which is supposed to sound like that well-known musical instrument the marimba, went off during a performance of the New York Philharmonic last Tuesday, the conductor was highly irked, incensed and rankled, or in philharmonic terms, seriously cheesed.
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Lucy smarter than the average dog
I was thinking perhaps I should give Lucy one of those doggie IQ tests. You know, the ones in which you place a ball under a blanket and see if your dog is smart enough to find it?
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Having daughter home from college an experience
During Shannon’s first long visit home at Thanksgiving, I realized we were having a communication problem, namely she doesn’t think she has to communicate what time she’ll be home at night.
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A single mom’s dream before Christmas
Note: This column by Kelly Kazek was initially published Christmas Eve 2006 in The News Courier.
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It's here: Annual Guide to Seriously Weird Christmas Gifts
Then, shoo, skedaddle, vamoose. Go watch football or pull someone’s finger or whatever it is you guys do. But do not read this column!
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Dieter's blue plate includes Cookie Monster cupcake
Finally, after all these years I have learned the excuse, er, reason for my weight gain: my plate.
No, it’s not a metal one in my head. Like I haven’t heard that before. -
Most wonderful time can be dangerous
After reading about the dastardly deeds committed so far this year in the name of peace on earth, I am starting a petition to send to Santa. I am asking him to change his list categories from “naughty” and “nice” to “naughty,” “nice enough,” “purty good,” and “too stupid to be wasting Rudolph’s oxygen.”
- More Kelly Kazek Headlines
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Denver's Largest-Ever Drug Bust Nets Dozens
Marines: No Punishment for Nazi-like Flag
Vets Look to Translate Military Skills Into Jobs
Expert: Removing LA School's Staff 'Appropriate'
Raw Video: School Bus Burst Into Flames
LA School Reopens Amid Sex Abuse Scandal
$25B Settlement Reached Over Foreclosure Abuses
Pentagon: Allow Women Closer to Front Lines
Obama Gives Education Waivers to 10 States
Giffords Aide to Run for Her Seat
LA School in Sex Abuse Scandal Reopens
Winter Slamming North Asia, Parts of Europe
Syrian Forces Renew Bombardment of Homs
States, Banks Reach Foreclosure-abuse Settlement
Raw Video: Italy's Mount Etna Bursts Into Life
Greeks March; Angry Despite Debt Deal
Raw Video: U.S. Pullout Celebration
Raw Video: Annual Empire State Building Run-Up
Man Killed in Courthouse Shootout
Air Force Airlines: Leaders Get Polished Service
